Bernie built a racing car
He hopes she’s up to par
Looking fast and looking mean
She’s painted British green
Aero fins and racing stripes
And shiny silver pipes
She’s a wild beast to tame
And Nelly was her name

Bernie smiled as he climbed in
To take her for a spin
Drove her down to Silverstone
To make her greatness known
Made her turbo engine scream
She handled like a dream
Drivers all across the land
They begged for Nelly’s hand

Bernie said, “I’ll sell her skin”
‘Cause it takes cash to win
Superstore of women’s clothes
Put posters on her nose
“Not enough, though,” Bernie said
More deals passed through his bed
Smoky’s filtered cigarettes
Agreed to pay his debts

Smoky said, “We’ll spill the ink”
When you make Nelly pink
While you’re at it, change her name
From Nel to Smoky Dame
Bernie’s shocked but he said “fine”
‘Cause money’s on the line
Smoky didn’t need his tips
Shoved a ciggie ‘tween his lips

Paint our name across her side
If it’s ugly, I don’t mind
We don’t need to be so kind
Make her drag along a sign
Bernie warned that she might blow
Or be extremely slow
Smoky said you shouldn’t care
Hey you’re a millionaire

Chug-a-chug went Smoky Dame
Coughing was her claim to fame
Around her was a cloud of dust
Her skin soon turned to rust
Like a turtle she crawled on
Until her life was gone
Bernie fell and shed a tear
And then he disappeared